2012
Why I don’t own a smartphone
It’s 2012. I am aware of the year. I am also aware that the vast majority of us in the first world own several gadgets, most of which we don’t need. I don’t own a smartphone, and I constantly get shit for it everyday. There are a few reasons why I am using an old flip phone, which I will delve into later in this post. The main reason I don’t own a cool new Iphone or Droid is because I simply don’t want one. I have no desire to carry around a computer in my pocket which will kill even more sperm and give me cancer.
When people ask me why I don’t have a smartphone or make a sarcastic remark, I think of this
I have enough crap. I just bought an expensive camera, and I already own a laptop and an IPOD. I work with technology and I’m surrounded by it all day. I sit in front of a computer 8-10 hours a day and the last thing I want, is a computer in my pocket. That’s what smartphones are. They’re computers, not phones. Do I really need to play Words With Friend’s? No I don’t. I don’t want to draw something with you either. Fuck You. I don’t care. I also don’t care about Mobile Uploads. I don’t need to see a picture of someone’s license plate you thought was cool on Instagram. I already get enough stupid fucking Farmville requests and “100 List Challenge” invites from people I don’t talk to and my mom through Facebook. Leave me a lone. Holy Shit. I spend enough time on Facebook and Twitter, I don’t need it in my pocket 24/7.
My generation is fucked. We have grown up with cell phones, and more recently smartphones, and our attention span is getting shorter, because we have to see what everyone is doing tonight! Everyone has to know our plans. I remember when having a ringtone with lyrics in it was a big deal. Now, if your phone can’t check you in as the Mayor of Subway, you’re suddenly an outcast.
There is research also that shows that teenagers will be more fucked, since they basically need their cell phone. This is not good. They have Seperation Anxiety from and inanimate object. We’re constantly inundated with information. There is literally too much information to absorb. Too many songs to download, Podcasts to listen to, and pictures to look at, and if you spend too much time on Facebook, you realize your life isn’t as great as you thought it was. ( I don’t believe that, but people certainly do.) People can even feel alienated from Facebook, and if you can’t check it on your phone, you’re missing something important. This is also known as the Fear of Missing Out.
Everywhere I go people have their heads buried in their phone. Whether it’s reading news or playing Angry Birds, people love using their gadgets, eating up data. The other day this stupid girl walked into the poll on the metro because she was too busy texting David <3. I have no fucking clue who he is, but I managed to see her whole conversation since she was standing next to me. That’s another thing, no privacy, but that’s a whole other can of worms.
Another reason I choose not to drink the smartphone Koolaid, is that it’s expensive. No its not $30 a month, its more like $80-100. I can think of so many more things do with that money. I’ll admit I’m frugal, but I’m certainly not cheap. Cost of living is high where I live and ya know….bills. I’d rather save my money and spend it on experiences like concerts and destinations, than things. I just have my priorities. Your priorities might be to blow a bunch of lines and bang a prostitute. Who am I to judge? It’s my money and I do what I want with it.
The last reason that I still have my phone is that it’s a good phone. The service is excellent and it never has a problem. I can still text on it…and guess what? I can still make a phone call. ( I think that’s what the original intent of a mobile phone was). It’s like driving a car that has 200,000 miles. It’s vintage. I’m bringing back the flip phone.
To sum up my feelings, I really have no desire to own one. Very few people need smartphones, and if you think you really need one, chances are you don’t. No one needs to check their email constantly. Sorry you’re not as important as you think you are.
I don’t own a Smart Phone either!. Or a car…anymore. Just can’t find a need for it right now.
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