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2
May
8

Why I don’t own a smartphone

By admin | Filed in Life, Uncategorized

It’s 2012.  I am aware of the year. I am also aware that the vast majority of us in the first world own several gadgets, most of which we don’t need. I don’t own a smartphone, and I constantly get shit for it everyday. There are a few reasons why I am using an old flip phone, which I will delve into later in this post. The main reason I don’t own a cool new Iphone or Droid is because I simply don’t want one. I have no desire to carry around a computer in my pocket which will kill even more sperm and give me cancer.

 

When people ask me why I don’t have a smartphone or make a sarcastic remark,  I think of this

 

shut the f up

 

I have enough crap. I just bought an expensive camera, and I already own a laptop and an IPOD.  I work with technology and I’m surrounded by it all day. I sit in front of a computer 8-10 hours a day and the last thing I want, is a computer in my pocket.  That’s what smartphones are. They’re computers, not phones.  Do I really need to play Words With Friend’s? No I don’t. I don’t want to draw something with you either.  Fuck You. I don’t care. I also don’t care about Mobile Uploads. I don’t need to see a picture of someone’s license plate you thought was cool on Instagram.  I already get enough stupid fucking Farmville requests and “100 List Challenge” invites from people I don’t talk to and my mom through Facebook. Leave me a lone. Holy Shit. I spend enough time on Facebook and Twitter, I don’t need it in my pocket 24/7.

My generation is fucked. We have grown up with cell phones, and more recently smartphones, and our attention span is getting shorter, because we have to see what everyone is doing tonight! Everyone has to know our plans.  I remember when having a ringtone with lyrics in it was a big deal. Now, if your phone can’t check you in as the Mayor of Subway, you’re suddenly an outcast.

There is research also that shows  that teenagers will be more fucked, since they basically need their cell phone.  This is not good. They have Seperation Anxiety from and inanimate object. We’re constantly inundated with information. There is literally too much information to absorb. Too many songs to download, Podcasts to listen to, and pictures to look at, and if you spend too much time on Facebook, you realize your life isn’t as great as you thought it was. ( I don’t believe that, but people certainly do.) People can even feel alienated from Facebook, and if you can’t check it on your phone, you’re missing something important. This is also known as the Fear of Missing Out.

Everywhere I go people have their heads buried in their phone. Whether it’s  reading news or playing Angry Birds, people love using their gadgets, eating up data. The other day this stupid girl walked into the poll on the metro because she was too busy texting David <3. I have no fucking clue who he is, but I managed to see her whole conversation since she was standing next to me. That’s another thing, no privacy, but that’s a whole other can of worms.

Another reason I choose not to drink the smartphone Koolaid, is that it’s expensive. No its not $30 a month, its more like $80-100. I can think of so many more things do with that money. I’ll admit I’m frugal, but I’m certainly not cheap. Cost of living is high where I live and ya know….bills. I’d rather save my money and spend it on experiences like concerts and destinations, than things. I just have my priorities. Your priorities might be to blow a bunch of lines and bang a prostitute. Who am I to judge? It’s my money and I do what I want with it.

The last reason that I still have my phone is that it’s a good phone. The service is excellent and it never has a problem. I can still text on it…and guess what? I can still make a phone call. ( I think that’s what the original intent of a mobile phone was). It’s like driving a car that has 200,000 miles.   It’s vintage. I’m bringing back the flip phone.

To sum up my feelings, I really have no desire to own one. Very few people need smartphones, and if you think you really need one, chances are you don’t. No one needs to check their email constantly. Sorry you’re not as important as you think you are.

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12
Jan
3

It’s true, I went on a blind date

By admin | Filed in Dating

This is my first post in a while because I keep making excuses for not writing,  since I’m lazy. I hope to change that this year. I have a lot of things to write about, all of which are quite funny or disturbing. I also plan on changing the site design.

 

Moving a way from everybody you know can be challenging, even if you’re as outgoing as myself, and you have no shame. Since I don’t have any of my asshole friends to hang out with I pretty much do variety of things on my own, one of them being, introducing myself to different aged people of the opposite sex.   Usually it’s easy to meet friends of friends and acquaintances and all that shit, but when you don’t really have any wing-men to go out with, it’s a different ballgame.  I’m open to several different ideas. My philosophy is “Fuck it, I’ll do anything once.”

The other week a young lad I work with told me he’ll set me up on a blind date. I was hesitant for good reason. Why, you ask? Well, I see him everyday and I know who he is, and he is not like me nothing like me. I was skeptical, but in the end I said sure. I knew nothing about this person except that she was short and had a vagina. It could have been this creature for all I knew. I eventually saw 1 Facebook picture. This 1 picture was not a close up, all you could see was her face….far away. FUCK! We exchanged numbers and yada yada yada,  I met her yesterday.

Now, the day before, on Tuesday I  went out with someone who was just my type. Everything went well and  better than I expected. It was awesome. So I knew the only way this blind date would be better is if this broad blew me and served me steak at the same time. (Yes that is a real thing, March 14)

So I made plans for her to come to me since I wasn’t interested in doing this at all. We went to the bar up the street.  I was late. I didn’t care. I see this little girl standing by herself  looking bewildered. I go up to introduce myself and the first awkward moment ensues. This semi-handshake hug thing, much like this. I wanted to vomit from the awkwardness….Strike 1. She had a cute face but not much else. We went to the bar and I ordered a Blue Moon, my go to beer. She didn’t know what it was…. Strike 2. She said she didn’t drink much which I could respect. Then the conversation started. She didn’t initiate one thing. Not one topic. I asked all the questions and felt like a fucking moron, because I knew if I didn’t talk there would be awkward pauses.  I think i used the word “Fuck” a few times because it is in fact part of my lexicon, and she seemed flabbergasted that i used a curse word. OH NO! BOO! I have to put $ dollar in the swear jar!..Strike 3. Over the course of this conversation she is barely drinking her beer, and I’m almost done, but she insists she “really likes it.”  (In my head during this whole time I have random thoughts going through my mind like; going home and reading, eating Taco Bell, or listening to Avicii)    She goes to the bathroom, so I start talking to the big black guy next to me with what seems to be his harem of underage college freshman. She returns. My beer is done, and I’m watching the rerun of the Broncos game.  As the “date” is winding down she asks me the craziest thing I’ve done while drunk. I was perplexed at the timing of this inquiry let alone the topic. I said something like, ” I didn’t remember, I’ve been drunk a lot.”  So naturally I ask her. This is her response almost verbatim;   :: smirks::  ” I don’t know, I was pretty drunk new years. I went on the beach and like played in the sand and watched the waves.”….. I made a whitty comment but I almost blurted out,” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THAT’S THE CRAZIEST SHIT YOU’VE DONE WHILE DRUNK?? AARGHHHHHHHHH.” Strike35

I quickly got the check and paid. I shook her hand and said something stupid and bolted. I wish I had those 2 hours of my life back. It was brutal. I can normally make the best of a bad situation but this was equivalent to watching paint dry or talking to a coma patient. If you think I’m using hyperbole than you are wrong.

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17
Nov
7

Please workout Pt.1

By admin | Filed in Embarrass

This is part 1, of what might be an ongoing thought. It might be mildly offensive.

 

We currently live in the fattest country in the world. What a great title to have! Both times I was in Europe I heard something along the lines of ” Hey! your not fat, why aren’t you fat? You’re American!”  The sad reality is that majority of the population is gross. I’m not saying just fucking ugly, I mean fucking fat, like rolls on rolls on rolls. It’s pathetic, and there are a lot of things that cause this such as; bad parenting,  shitty diet,  lack of motivation,  food addiction, low self-esteem, not having a mirror in your house, etc.  For anyone that is interested here are some facts about Diabetes, Obesity, and Hypertension, all of which can stem from having a shitty diet.

With that being said, I’m a big proponent of physical activity. I have always been athletic, and had the opportunity to be around people with similar interests in the Sporting Arts. I know a lot of people who aren’t into sports which is perfectly fine, however I think everyone needs to give it a shot.  Being athletic and trying to get in shape are totally different.  Make a fucking effort. Is it really hard to set aside 15 minutes a day? Buy a kettle-bell and watch a Youtube video, do that 3x a week and your golden. I’m sure you have time to take a break in between the Facebook creeping and watching that rerun of Modern Family you have seen 4 times. Look,  if working out was easy and fun, everyone would do it. Working out shouldn’t be a burden.

If you don’t work out in some form, I can pretty much guarantee that your body will be gross at some point. I like being in shape and looking good and being complemented, who doesn’t?  If we could detach our heads and have different bodies for different occasions, I would not be writing this, but of course we don’t.  Here is an example; ” I have a date with this broad who loves huge jacked black guys, hold on let me get my Lebron James body for tonight.” Here is another example; “This girl I’m seeing loves slender toned guys with big calves, ok  I will get my Lance Armstrong body.” Shit doesn’t work like that. This is just one of the many reasons to work out. If this seems hard, make a fitness goal. One of my fitness goals is to get through the entire Insanity Ab workout without quitting (shits fucking intense).

I feel as though girls are the worst. They think if they are skinny, they’re in shape. Wrong. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you have a nice body, chances are you have the body of a 12 year old boy.  Eating like a pig in college and a few years after might be fine, but that shit catches up to you, and soon you will have a big Fupa and before you know it you’ll be 35, unmarried with low self-esteem. I can think of a few girls who were skinny but never worked out and they had one of those skinny girl guts, that and they had cottage cheese legs. Shit is gross. Does that sound harsh? Yea maybe, or you can put some fucking effort into looking good. I work out, I expect the same out of the opposite sex.  The good thing about being a girl, is that they can get dick whenever they please, guys can’t get vagina at a snap of their fingers. It’s easy for a girl to be a Slut, but hard for a guy to be a Stud.

 

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13
Oct
38

You know when you say I’m going to shit my pants….

By admin | Filed in Embarrass

Well that happened.

Disclaimer: I am aware that if anyone of the opposite sex reads this and finds me attractive, you might not after this! Enjoy!

Here is a story that is embarrassing, but I don’t care.  The point of this blog is to share experiences, thoughts and concerns. As I said in my first post, if you don’t like it, you can hit the ‘X’ in the corner.

Shitting oneself is always embarrassing, it is something we do on the reg when we are infants, but not so much as adults. Every once in a while you will get that really bad stomach ache and have trouble making it to the toilet before your insides are about to just fall out of you onto the floor. This is especially the case in Mexico. They say don’t drink the water for a reason. They are right. Montezuma that SOB definitely got his revenge on me.

A few years back I traveled to Acapulco, Mexico for spring break. This was the first time I was in Mexico and I had heard about the water and the poverty and the beheading and all that good stuff. I was so excited! Beforehand, my friends and I stocked up on water to brush our teeth with and shit. We tried to avoid putting anything foreign in our mouth because we didn’t want to get sick. On our resort there was a great buffet of somewhat decent food. It all looked magical, especially when shitfaced at 11 am. I just remember raping chips and Guac and eating a whole fuck ton of food thinking,” don’t they wash everything in water?” Anyway I kept eating, as did everyone else.

The next morning I woke up and went down to the pool for the usual debauchery that takes place. There was a kid with a necklace made of Pepto Bismol. Me: “Glad I don’t have diarrhea!”

Fast forward about 2 hours. I am in a pool making out and groping some poor girl and my stomach starts to gurgle. It hurts. I think I need to pee, but I’m not sure. I don’t want to leave the pool, because at this moment, it is bonkers. I leave that girl and I turn to my friend and say, “Dude I have to fart, but I’m afraid I’m going to shit if I fart.” I think he started laughing and said go take a shit. Not sure exactly.

I proceed to hop out of the pool and waddle to the bathroom. You know that walk you do when you REALLY have to poop? That’s the one. For some reason at this point I decide I only need to pee. So I pull up to the urinal and as I’m about to drain the main vein, diarrhea just falls out of my body, down my legs. It wasn’t  like a turd or anything, it was just watery. I look down and see a puddle of brown. Fucking Gross. I was so wasted, I think I was laughing, while standing in my own feces. Glad I was wearing Black board shorts. At this point, I’m completely hammered, soaking wet and full of shit. Anyways, I cleaned myself up, went to the front desk and got some little Mexican to let me into my room. I showered and then went back into the pool about an hour later. This clip is a little of what Acapulco was about.

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6
Sep
2

Mondaze was the worst days

By admin | Filed in Uncategorized

Coming off a nice holiday weekend,  I found myself waking up early this morning for the usual struggle that is my life. My alarm goes off entirely too early and then I shut it off and proceed to flop around until I force myself to actually get up ( I told myself I was going to get up even earlier and do 15 minutes of yoga and make myself breakfast….it didn’t happen). Once I was in the office I immediately begin to loathe just about everything around me, people included.

As I walk back to my cubicle with my cup of Tea and oatmeal, I can’t help but imagine throwing it in my co worker’s face and then laughing at him. Once I sit down I am distracted by the side conversation that is going on next to me. Two middle-aged men discuss their weekend in excruciating detail about the most obscure topics. Everything from window treatments to soccer practice is somehow brought up, seeming as though each man is trying to out due his peer with the worst weekend possible. This is all going on two feet from me, but eventually they leave and I finish my breakfast. Ten minutes later I hear the last thing I ever want to hear at 8:20 am; the sound of my team member saying, “SIR?”(If you told this guy to eat shit off the sidewalk he would ask with a spoon or knife)  It is too early for brown-nosing. I’m not a happy camper, I would like  to run up to him and say, “STOP FUCKING SAYING SIR”

At this point my body aches and my mind is somewhere else and I’m staring at the clock, its 8:21. Kill me. Another jolly person stops by and politely asks how my weekend was, I stuck to a one word answer,”fun.”  That of course is an understatement, since I had a lot of fun. I don’t want to actually open up to people and let them into my personal life. I will let other people tell me all their fascinating information like their mortgage, house sq footage, weight, past alcoholism and whatever else they care to share. I on the other hand do not want to mix these two worlds.

Throughout the day things just seem to erk me. I am by nature a very nonchalent person, most things hardly affect me since I’m dead inside. Today is different. Every little thing gets under my skin. Just around lunch time while trolling through the halls  I look and see this  morbidly obese woman carrying fries and a soda. It is at this moment where I think of smashing her food and screaming at her,”Fucking eat a salad, you can’t even see your own feet!”  I of course refrain. Not two minutes go by without me seeing the anorexic woman and imagine force-feeding her in a Tarantino-ish flashback.  I of course refrain. Once I’m back,  I slam my head against the desk and It is suddenly time to go home.  I didn’t even have a bad day. For some reason I was blahhhh. I really only get like this when a girl takes a dump on my chest (figuratively not literally) and its been a while since that is happened,  maybe I just got my period.

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14
Aug
6

Kickball is for losers and fattys

By admin | Filed in Uncategorized

Moving to a new area is always a challenge even if you know people and have a base. I on the other hand,  moved to a new area in which I had 1 acquaintance.  I’m extremely outgoing and really don’t have a problem striking up a conversation most of the time, however this is easier said than done.

The first weekend I was in my new residence I was eager to bop around town and mingle. I found myself at a club which disguises itself as a sports bar during the day and thought I could make friends and meet some biddies. I was wrong. That story will be another post, as it is too long to continue here.

A family friend who lived in the area for several years told me I should join a kickball league. She explained it was a social league, and most people joined to get shitfaced after the games. I thought, Fuck it, right T?  During the first game I noticed that 90% of my team is absolutely dreadful. I’m not just saying this because I think I’m better than everyone (which I am), I’m saying this because most of them are THAT bad.  When you play with a team full of Police Officers who aren’t in great shape it really makes you glad that they’re protecting you.  Besides me, there is a tiny girl who is pretty good and like 1, or 2 dudes.

We play our first game and get sodomized pretty bad. We wallow in our defeat as we make our way to the bar. A little hole in the wall down some shady alley. Looks fun.  The various teams are in there socializing and getting ready to play drinking games. Everyone is wearing different color shirts and it looks like a cross between a bag of Skittles and a Gay Pride flag. People are very generous to buy a round or two for the team, I am not. This goes on for at least an hour. The free beer stops and I am thirsty again. I quickly find a Flip Cup game with the best looking girls. There is one game, with one good looking girl. I quickly realize that if I just attach myself to a table I will get endless free beer, and this is what I do, repeatedly. Game after game, beer after beer, I am slowly slipping into what can only be described as shitfaced. Suddenly every girl in the bar is a 10 and I start making moves.  As I make my way to the bathroom I get a glance at the creatures that had my attention. I’m traumatized. Lets just say they’re were not 10s. I casually leave.

 

Through the coming weeks, the same scene folds out each time. Since it is the summer, most people with friends aren’t attending the games and drinking at a shitty bar with losers. The people who routinely come besides me, are weird.  These people are Dungeons and Dragons weird. They’re awkward and socially inept. They can’t dance and don’t know when to dance. These were the kids picked last for dodge ball in middle school. Last week was a prime example of this.

After our team finally won a game we made it to the bar for celebratory drinks and to dominate all the noobs at Flip Cup. As my team quickly dispersed , I was all alone looking for beer. Once again I found a table who would provide that very beer I needed. I start playing Flip Cup and notice its chicks vs. dicks. Okay. We get our ass handed to us. (Their team is comprised of 3 girls who are Obese, 1 girl who looks like a giraffe, 1 girl who is a plain Jane, 1 who is moderately decent looking and 1 who you would bang but not tell anyone about. ) Now the shit-talking has commenced and I notice that all the guys on my team are bent over. Apparently the loosing team gets their ass slapped by everyone of said opposite team. This was weird. I did not bend over and I let the fattys grab my glorious derriere since it would be the only time in their lives they could touch such a beautiful thing. The next game starts and we annihilate them. As we flip the last cup, I see these Losers face’s light up as if it were Christmas. They were going to touch some booty and no one was going to stop them! As I proceeded to make my way around the table I realized my teammates really enjoyed it, as they abused the shit out of these large butts. I neglected to touch all but three of them, since I didn’t want my hand to get swallowed in a fat crevasse.

During these games music is playing and when Rude Boy comes on, these kickballers loose all their inhibitions and let loose. The dude next to me was dancing like this.  I was three sheets to the wind and looked on in awe. The games continued and I kept getting my ass slapped by fatties and the conversation with the decent looking girl was turning into her reminiscing about  her sorority days. I decided to leave the awkwardness, but not before I saw those same fat chicks dance on bars, grind on poles and makeout with even uglier humans. I don’t belong at place with creatures like this. I will keep going because I love beer, especially when its free and seeing people who you know aren’t as good looking as you is a confidence booster.

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25
Jul
7

Friday Night

By admin | Filed in Uncategorized

Since i moved, I have found myself in many awkward situations with many different people, most of whom I would not normally hang out with. The other night was one of those nights.

I ended up at some bar which was supposed to be good.  As soon as I saw this place I knew it wasn’t going to be fun. A bar/club cannot be a good time if it’s in a strip mall next, that’s just a rule. As I proceeded to walk to the front door, I read a sign that only confirmed how I was going to feel about this shithole.

“$8 dollar cover, Ladies always Free”, or something along those douchey lines.  I fucking hate paying cover. The only time I will pay a cover and not bitch about it, is if I know I’m going to get laid at the end of the night; so always.  Why do women get a free pass?

After I paid the overweight ugly white trash desk jockey my cover, I was given one of those stupid wrist bands by another trailer park hero. This guy was a quintessential bouncer; too many tattoos to count, a long goatee and a truly awful sense of style.  OK.  It is now time check the talent out and see what we’re working with.

My predictions  turn out to be true. There is around 20 people there, including the 5 guys on stage preparing to ROCK the crowd by singing terrible renditions of top 40 music. Within a few minutes I have a moderately strong Jack n Coke and I start observing the kind of creatures that roam the dance floor. I am not surprised by the lack of talent. As the few girls we’re with migrate toward the empty dance floor, I follow hesitantly.  As the cover band is gearing up into a segue of “Mr. Bright Side, ” I noticed the only people dancing, were those who are neglected by the majority of society. Freeks and Geeks at its finest.

There is a certain type of person who goes to see live cover bands at crappy bars. Old single fat women, and World of Warcraft players.  The first creep i see busting a move is a man wearing mid calf white socks with New Balance tennis shoes, baggy cargo shorts and a tattered NASCAR shirt. He starts dancing as if he were having a seizure, but he looks like he’s enjoying himself, so what the hell? His buddy  looks as though Helen Keller dressed him, but he is loving life since he is making out hardcore with this Gargoyle. The two proceed to get intimate on the dance floor, and then creep number 1 sticks his hand up  and does the “Eiffel tower” with his buddy.  I keep drinking and chuckle to myself.

Off to the left of them are a not so attractive group of women who are having their bachelorette party at this God forsaken place. Really?

Near them are two middle aged women who look like they just auditioned for Rock Of Love Bus season 16. They have awful tattoos  and high skirts with big heels. They’re groupies.  For some reason they think this band is the best thing they have heard since they had Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in their 86 Camaro during their Meth binge. I watch in awe, as these women take in the music.  During all of this I get shitfaced and neglect to really interact with the people I came with, and people watch instead.  I notice that the lead singer of the band is so into his act. All I can think is “Give it up you old fuck”. These people can’t let the dream die. It’s kewl to be in a band if your in high school, or maybe even college but lets be realistic. If you say you have 30 twitter followers, chances are you suck. I saw all of this unfold in one of the richest counties in the country. Apparently there is white trash everywhere.

 

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19
Jul
7

Pipes

By admin | Filed in Uncategorized

A few years back when I received the news that I would be starting my first internship,  I was ecstatic and eager to enter a “real” position.  I did need to obtain a position of this nature for school so it really wasn’t even a choice. I was mainly excited to work because I would be getting $19.65/hr, which far excited what any of my friends made and I was getting 3 college credits.

The first day I showed up all cheery and ready to take on the corporate world, but before I could sit down and meet my coworkers I was whisked away into a meeting where I found out that no one would receive a bonus for the upcoming year do to the state of the economy. Yay America!

It wasn’t until about the 3rd week were I found out how to do my work and around 3 months to get into a routine.  With this said, I had downtime and was eager to fill the void with some good ole web surfing. Of course,  Facebook, Youtube and other sites were blocked by the firewall. I had 8 hours of day to fill, and I had no clue what to do. After falling asleep at my desk a few times, it hit me to doodle. I always used to draw when I was younger but had stopped several years prior.

I started drawing the dumbest and most nonsensical things I could think of.  So i started just drawing lines and more lines. After about an hour my hand hurt, but I prevailed and by the end of the day I finished drawing lines all over the page. This didn’t satisfy me, so I decided to completely cover the entire page with a highlighter, because ya know I was bored. Here is the end result:

After about 2 months and reading every article on ESPN, I decided to continue with the theme for drawing lines, because I have the artistic ability of a retarded monkey on Adderall.  This next picture took me 2 whole days. I did nothing but draw this because of course, I had nothing to do. The next week I continued the trend of drawing pipes and after 3 whole days, this was the end result:

These 3 pictures represent what I learned at my internship after 6 months. I was offered to work at this Fortune 100 company for another 6 months, but I declined.  Throughout this time frame I made roughly $12,000 and did actually work for 23% of the time, and earned 3 credits.  Of the work that I did complete, I later found out that it was all a waste and just busy work.

Within all that time I lost brain cells and respect for the corporate world. To this day I get paid more and do just about the same amount of work, Yay America!

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5
Jul
5

Questions

By admin | Filed in Uncategorized

This post has nothing do with anything. It is nothing more than a series of random questions that I don’t have answers to. There will be two parts to this and possibly more, each consisting of 50 questions. I thought of these while bored, at work.

 

  1. Why do good looking girls always say they only have hot friends, and they’re all good looking?
  2. Do people look at themselves in the mirror before they go out and think, “hmmmm I look good, I’m gunna get it in?”
  3. Why don’t more guys lift legs?
  4. Why don’t more women lift?
  5. Why is Taco Bell FUCKING AMAZING?
  6. How can my coworker drink an entire pot of coffee before work?
  7. How come more people don’t like Beatzz?
  8. Whats the deal with those high-wasted pants and shorts girls wear?
  9. What constitutes cheating?
  10. Why did Nickelodeon cancel Legends of the Hidden Temple?
  11. Whats it like to be a little person?
  12. Whats it like to wait till marriage to get laid?
  13. How does it feel to be ugly?
  14. How does it feel to be overweight?
  15. What’s it like to not have any friends?
  16. What’s it like to go into work,  and work for all eight hours?
  17. Does bearing a child hurt more than breaking your femur?
  18. Why can’t zombies be real?
  19. Why was my tenth grade math teacher such a bitch?
  20. How come women don’t like the word CUNT?
  21. How can a human being not enjoy sports or athletics?
  22. How in the world can anybody enjoy NASCAR?
  23. Do educators and parents really think  D.A.R.E. works?
  24. Why is marijuana frowned upon?
  25. Why do people smoke cigarettes?
  26. Why do people dip?
  27. What is attractive about Hedi Montag?
  28. How come I have only seen 3 fat Asians?
  29. Why was every Phys Ed teacher I ever had, not in shape?
  30. What is the point of a long distance relationship?
  31. Does Glenn Beck’s wife think he is a rational person?
  32. Do people really think big is beautiful?
  33. Why do people get offended often?
  34. Why isn’t gay marriage legal in every state?
  35. Why do people dislike the Gays?
  36. Does Katherine Heigl think she’s a good actress?
  37. Why are Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton famous?
  38. How can anyone think Michelle Bachman is NOT bat shit?
  39. How can anyone buy a pair of jeans for more than 100?
  40. Why couldn’t Right Said Fred make more hits?
  41. Why do people still pay for music?
  42. Why is being Italian cool?
  43. How come some girls with large breasts don’t like to titty fuck?
  44. Why do people still wear Ed Hardy?
  45. Why do 75% of girls cake themselves in make up?
  46. Why is gas so high?
  47. Why aren’t more people laid back?
  48. Can Tom hanks make a bad movie
  49. Does Hugh Hefner have any STDs?
  50. How can people watch Faux News?
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26
Jun
7

The Real Young Adult

By admin | Filed in too young

I have a real problem with young people who are married. Yes I said it.  I do not care if you’re in love or you want to spend the rest of the your life with your partner. WAIT!  Honestly, what is the rush? Really?  There is no reason why anybody should be married before their late twenties.

I know personally there is so much I want to do and see before I even think about being so involved with anyone. I am way to narcissistic and into myself to be invested in someone else other than me.  This brings me to my point, about my coworker.

He was married in his early twenties and now, he has a kid on the way in his mid twenties.  (he was the only guy she ever slept with) I don’t get it. He didn’t go to college and go on Spring Break and slam out mad bitches in his late teens, because he was working. He has been working full time for like 8 years.  There are so  many things he will miss out doing since he is now a real adult. By that I mean he has more responsibilities than he should have at his age. A mortgage, a wife, a kid on the way, more bills than I can fathom and no freedom.  Due to his situation, he HAS to work, to provide for others. I work to provide for myself, and no one else. I see how much I get taken out in taxes, but I’m sure it’s nothing compared to him who has 3 dependents.

There is no reason why anyone this young should be tied down. He can’t go overseas or even disappear for the weekend. He has a family to tend to. I get sick thinking about this.  Today I did nothing like a degenerate and I loved it.  If he did this, he would get bitched at, and his wife would nag, nag nag.

He can’t go out and get wasted every night, or take home someone from the bar. He will never experience having sex with multiple women in one day, or for that matter any women. There are so many different types of women in this world all of which I want have sex with. It’s not even having sex with one person for the rest of my life that bothers me, its just such a fucking process dating someone, and then getting so serious. Seriously.

He spends his time tending to his wife’s needs. He even mentioned that he has to ask her to buy a grill, a GRILL! Not a Lil Wayne mouth grill, but a FUCKING GRILL. If you are a man, you should have a grill. He has to run all this stuff by his wife. THAT SUCKS!

If and when I eventually get married, I want it to be someone who is a worker and not someone who wants to be a housewife. That is not a job. I’m so sick of hearing that its a hard job to be a mother, wife and an employee. FUCK YOU. My mother worked full time and raised two kids.  I want someone who doesn’t live off my hard earned money. My coworker’s wife has a bs  job and no degree, and he doesn’t want her to work. I’m not an education snob, however what do you plan on doing for money. I don’t get it.

I just don’t see the rush in loosing your freedom at such a young age.

 

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